Gray Hair Blog / November 23, 2019

7 Weird Things That Happen When You Go Gray

Inside: Some of the weird things that happen when you go gray!

Embracing your gray hair seems like such a straightforward thing to do.

One day you wake up, decide to stop dyeing your hair, and voila! You’ve made your choice, and you no longer need to spend a minute thinking about it.

Ummm…No!

As we all know, it’s a lot more complicated than that. 

** Please Note:  This post contains affiliate links.  I only link to products that I personally like or that have been recommended to me by my silver sisters.  You can see my full policy here.**

Ditching the dye and accepting your gray hair usually results in a lot of introspection and hand-wringing.  “Have I made the right choice? Will I look older?”, etcetera.

All of those thoughts are normal and part of the process.  As you can see in one of my most popular posts, going gray is a BIG DEAL! But there are also some unexpected side effects to going gray.

WEIRD THINGS THAT HAPPEN WHEN YOU GO GRAY

You Become a Selfie-Snapping Narcissist!

image of selfie woman
“Looking Good!”

For years, when I was asked to provide a photo of myself, I never could find one that didn’t have either a family member or a friend in the photo with me. 

I never took selfies where I was the ONLY person in the frame.

Now, I am the Queen of Selfies!

Oh my gosh, if you saw the camera roll on my iPhone….it’s embarrassing, really! But let’s face it – watching the grays come in is FASCINATING!

I don’t get tired of seeing my own gray hair, and I don’t get tired of seeing yours.  Who could get tired of looking at gorgeous gray hair?!

Aside from selfies, do you also:

a) find yourself checking out your gray hair in the rearview mirror at stoplights?

b) Ask others to take pictures of the back of your head?

c) Constantly check the underside of your hair to see if more gray is coming in?

Please tell me it’s not just me! 🤣

image of gray hair selfie

Men Come Out of the Woodwork!

image of romantic man weird things that happen when you go gray
“I love me some gray-haired ladies!”

If you are on Instagram, you’ve most likely experienced this – you start posting pix of yourself with gray hair and you get a FLOOD of male followers!

I didn’t realize that there is a large subset of men who find gray hair very attractive.  Who knew?

And in real life, I’ve gotten more male attention than I have in years.

To be honest, after being the subject of often-unwanted attention from men since I was a young teen, I was kind of enjoying not being the object of their attention as much as the years went by.

But in the past 8 months since I ditched the dye? Forget it! I’ve had men flirt with me online and in real life to an alarming degree.

The other day at church, I could barely make it into the coffee hour because a man wouldn’t stop flirting with me.  What the heck?

I just finished reading Anne Kreamer’s book, Going Gray She had a similar experience.  It seems that many men care more about authenticity and self-confidence than they do about hair color. 

Interesting!

Boobs Are No Longer What People Stare At!

“Why is she talking about boobs?”, you’re probably wondering!

Well, as most gals know, sometimes when you’re talking to a man, you will catch him talking back…to your chest.  Ugh!

“Please look at my eyes”, right?!

Believe me, your gray roots will take the attention off of your chest, past your face (where it belongs) and straight to the top of your head!

brunette woman gray roots
My Roots in April – They Don’t Talk!

It’s funny- I often catch both men AND women talking to the top of my head now.  Considering I’m fairly tall, this often has a very funny effect – some petite ladies have to really crane their necks while they are talking to me.

They are too polite, for the most part, to say anything about my gray roots, but you can see that they are VERY focused on it.

Your Young Kids May Worry About Your Mortality

image of cemetery

Let’s face it – in our culture, people still equate gray hair with age.  If nobody dyed their hair, people would soon see that people of all ages have gray hair. 

Mine started at 17, and I was probably 90% gray by 40.   There are young women on Instagram who are embracing their grays in their 20s, and they look fabulous!

But our culture has conditioned us to think that only very old people have gray hair.  That’s what 60 years of hair-dye advertising does to a culture!

I have a son who has high-functioning autism.  He depends on me a lot, and when I first started going gray, it scared him a bit.

He equated gray hair with old age and imminent death and asked me point-blank if my gray hair meant I was going to die soon. 

I quickly reassured him that I was fine, and he is now one of my biggest gray-hair supporters.

Apparently, this isn’t unusual.  I’ve read similar stories by other mothers and grandmothers on Instagram and Facebook. 

If you have younger or special-needs children, this is a conversation that might come up while you are transitioning.

You Get Called Brave… A Lot

image of soldier and kid
This Woman Is Brave… But Me? Just for Going Gray?

I’m sure this happened to you already, but it if it hasn’t yet, no worries… because it WILL happen!

Other women will tell you that you are “brave” to go gray.  Sometimes, you’ll hear this more than once in the same day!

It seems to be one of the most common remarks people make when they see your transitioning hair.

I really think that most women who say this mean well.  They really do! 

In their eyes, it’s very brave to go gray in a culture that values youth and beauty above all else.  It really does feel good to buck society’s insistence that we all color our gray hair.

It’s just that it gets TIRESOME to hear how “brave” you are over and over again. 

“Did I rescue a child from a burning building? Did I single-handedly fight off the Grizzly Bear that was attacking the Cub Scouts?” No – I just stopped dyeing my hair.  Jeez!

Also, it’s the tone of how it’s said.  Sometimes, ladies will clutch your arm, look at you with concern, and THEN tell you how brave you are, which has the decided effect of making you feel like they think you are CRAZY and that you will look AWFUL.

Your Hair Becomes a Topic of Conversation

A lot of people will talk about your hair.  Even if you are an extrovert, like me, it can be a little surprising to get so much attention focused on your appearance.

I have walked in on conversations about my hair at work and at church.  I’ve been sitting at a large table full of people and caught people at the other end of the table talking about my hair.

It’s usually complimentary, thank goodness. If it wasn’t, that would be worse!

image of weird things that happen when you go gray
“Ladies, Let’s Change the Subject, Shall We? I’ve Grown Weary of Chatting About My Hair.”

Your Friends Will Tell You that YOUR Hair Looks Great but THEY Could Never Go Gray

This conversation comes up a lot with my work colleagues and my friends.  Personally, I don’t believe in trying to convince someone else to ditch the dye.  They will know when they are ready. 

So that’s what I tell them!

image of weird things that happen when you go gray
“Even If I Weren’t Three Sheets to the Wind, Dolores, I Would Still Say It – You Look FABULOUS with Gray Hair, But I Could NEVER Pull It Off!”

They will also tell me that my gray color is nice, but when their grays poke through, they look wiry or are a bad color.

Having gone through this, and having seen a bunch of other women’s transition stories, I tell them the truth – you won’t know what it looks like until the roots are at least two to three inches long.

I still don’t have a very clear picture of what I will look like fully gray – that’s part of the fun (for me!)

How about you?

Have you had any weird or unexpected side effects while transitioning to gray hair?

If you have, please comment below.  I’d love to hear them!

Please do me a favor and share this post to social media, as it helps me grow my audience and spread the word about our Silver Revolution!  And remember to subscribe to my YouTube Channel and Pinterest Feed for more gray hair tips and product recommendations. Thanks!

Check out my shop on Amazon for all your gray hair needs: 
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Did you enjoy this post? If so, you might also like:

A Gray Hair Glossary

How to Make Your Cold Turkey Gray Hair Transition Fun!

What Does It Mean To Be a Silver Sister?


The Surprising Side Effects of Embracing Your Grays

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109 Comments

  1. J Gregory

    Your post is spot on! I’m terrified someone will see all the selfies on my phone and think me vain. And my grandson was the only person who said anything when I stopped dying my hair. He was afraid I would look like ‘Grandma’ any more, bless his heart!

    What I hoped you would mention are these frizzy sideburns some of us get. I thought they would calm down when I was fully transitioned, but, alas, no. Anyone else?

    22 . Oct . 2019 Reply
    • Sonia

      Yes, I have the frizzy sideburns too!! I’m only 3 months into this and was seriously hoping they would relax sooner than later…

      11 . Nov . 2019 Reply
  2. Joyce

    I have been thinking about going gray for some time now, but I have very fine hair and when the roots come in my hair looks very thin on the top front. This is what has been stopping me. has anyone else experienced this and still gone forward with the transition? Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated.

    20 . Sep . 2019 Reply
    • Debbie

      My hair looks thinner top/front, too. I like wearing a headband, fluffing up the crown and pulling small curls forward to soften my face. Good luck!

      19 . Oct . 2019 Reply
  3. Tammy

    I’m 51 and just starting the “going gray” process. My roots are 1/2 – 1 inch, and I have short hair. So, I’m hoping the process won’t take too long. My only concern is having the gray roots and the rest of my hair is dark with highlights. Should I get lighter highlights to calm the “bad roots?” I’m afraid I’ll get half way through and say, “it’s not worth it.” What’s your suggestion? Thanks for any help you can give me.

    19 . Sep . 2019 Reply
    • Katie

      Hi,Tammy:

      If your hair is short, it shouldn’t take too long (2-3 months?). Check out these transition stories for inspiration for going gray with short hair:
      Lori Dawnloyn and Alison’s Silver Pixie. They have a lot of great ideas about how to get through it quickly.

      It’s up to you on the highlights – I had very dark hair and had bad luck in the past trying to lighten it (it would just turn orange, and get damaged), so I opted to go gray cold turkey and found out to my surprise that I didn’t mind the roots! But if they bother you, try to find a good salon in your area that has experience with helping people transition to gray with salon processes.

      Also, check out my Gray-Friendly Salon Directory, as these are salons recommended by our fellow silver sisters. If you don’t have any in your area, try to find an Aveda salon as they are usually gray-friendly.

      If you decide to go cold turkey and the roots drive you crazy, a lot of women opt for scarves, hats, wigs or Wow Root Powder. Good luck!

      19 . Sep . 2019 Reply
  4. Bekka

    I colored, bleached, highlighted and covered roots through most of my 50’s. I turned 59 and made a conscious decision to just stop. I finally cut out the last of my “fake” color and have embraced whatever this new sparkly natural tint is. I’ve received more compliments on my hair in the last six months than my entire previous decade put together. I’m so happy with being the real me!!!

    26 . Aug . 2019 Reply
  5. Janet

    I’ve had gray hair (actually more white in the front and a kind of champagne in the back where it’s a mix of faded red, light brown and white) for a few years now and while I think it’s pretty okay looking and I’ve gotten compliments on it, there are no men following me around 🙂 The first weird thing I noticed was the shock of seeing myself in a mirror. I had had pretty red hair all my life and suddenly had no idea who the white-haired woman in the mirror was. I’m still adjusting. The second weird thing was all the grocery checkout clerks started asking if the bags were too heavy or I needed help getting them to my car. It’s sort of sweet and also amuses me.

    06 . Aug . 2019 Reply
    • Jeanne

      Eight weeks (about 1 inch) in and I love it! I’m pulling my hair back now so the underhair shines through. But I find it funny that NO ONE will talk about it. Kind of that “Is she pregnant” phase, I guess. 58 years old and my roots are probably 90% white. I’m so excited to watch the progress! My only serious worry is my mom (who has Alzheimers) may lose recognition of me sooner.

      19 . Sep . 2019 Reply
  6. Raelyn

    I went cold turkey four years ago after my last trip for a cut and color went up to $235. It took about two years and a new stylist to work with me for frequent trims. But now the transition is complete and I love my hair. I’ve had some type of color on my hair since I was 15 and I’m 56. It is so much healthier and I get loads of compliments. Many think I have had my hair highlighted. Best decision I’ve ever made.

    29 . Jul . 2019 Reply
    • Katie

      That’s wonderful, Raelyn! So glad to hear that.

      11 . Aug . 2019 Reply
  7. Raysa

    I get the brave comment a lot! And it’s true that the tone in which it’s said doesn’t match the meaning comment. LOL!
    The thing is I colores my hair A LOT in my twenties just for fun. My hair was my canvas. It weaned in my late thirties.
    Now that my grays started to show I just feel in love with them. I never felt the urge, or need to color and hide them. I love my grays as the natural process of aging. I feel beautiful as the 45 year old woman I am, I feel young as the 45 year old woman I am. I don’t need to look younger, I can be a beautiful woman at any age. Thanks for sharing your gray story.

    22 . Jul . 2019 Reply
    • Katie

      You’re welcome! You have a great attitude, which makes it all so much easier!

      28 . Jul . 2019 Reply
  8. Linda g

    I just started this process last month. After many years of dark brown box coloring I was exhausted. It had become another chore , in a list of many, and dreaded the touch ups every 3 weeks. My hair has had a grey patch since I was 17 and I’ve been coloring it since then. I just turned 48 and think it’s time to do something I want to do. My kids , 15 and 12, are beyond embarrassed with my tricolored head as I get the box color on the bottom, my real color and then the skunk line of grey. I’m hoping I can stick with it as looking in the mirror can be a struggle at the moment.

    14 . Jul . 2019 Reply
    • Katie

      Linda, it’s so much easier to go through this if you have support. Have you joined one of the gray hair Facebook groups or started an Instagram account for your transition? Both of those things are a great way to help you stick with your plan! Good luck.

      14 . Jul . 2019 Reply
    • Angela

      Linda G! You can do this! Baseball caps are fantastic for the temporary tricolor hair & never forget the power of the messy bun! It takes time- there will be days you might doubt, but if you stick with it- it’s worth every bit of the agonizing growth period. I’m 38! Started graying at 20. Stopped coloring about 2.5 years ago. Full steam ahead. So much healthier for you hair and pocket book. Keep it up! You can do this. My 11,12, & 13 year old children think it’s pretty cool now.

      27 . Jul . 2019 Reply
  9. Lindy

    I decided to let my almost 100% silver/white hair grow out about 17 years ago. I was a brunette with red highlights in my younger years and had been dying my hair with permanent and temporary dark brown from about age 35. The colorist at my salon bleached my hair and did an all over medium blond in a semi-permanent shade. She then did highlights and lowlights ($$$). I had so many colors going on I dreaded going to work the following Monday. After about 9 months and two more salon foil visits, my short bob was almost completely white (the top of my head was pure white and the longer hair covered the silver in back) plus the condition of my hair had finally recovered. I had accepted the look at age 53 until my 3 year old granddaughter started crying one day and said “I don’t want you to die”. She said it was because of my white hair. She had recently lost a grandparent on her dad’s side of the family. About the same time I decided to change jobs and made the decision to put a temporary blond color in. I always looked young for my age and I hoped that this would take years off my looks. I got the job, but doubt the blond was the reason. Since then I have maintained a medium to dark blond but have had to do root touch ups every 2 to 3 weeks. Three months ago I said “I’m done with this, a 70 year old woman deserves to let her natural color show”. I found a photo from when my hair had grown out and I was surprised to see how young I did look at 53 with gray/white hair! I decided not to do the salon thing this time and it is not looking great coming in, but since I am retired now I can deal with it. In the summer months I wear a lot of visors to protect my skin from the sun and it helps to hide the transition line. I am leaving my short bob the same length to avoid an even more dramatic change in how I look.
    It is so encouraging to read this blog and all the comments from everyone. Thank you.

    17 . Jun . 2019 Reply
    • Katie

      Lindy, I’m so glad you found the blog and are loving the encouragement!

      17 . Jun . 2019 Reply
  10. Linda

    I transitioned to gray over about a year and am so glad I did. It was exciting to keep getting layered trims just to see my progress! My first moment of liberation was when I was fully grown out, on an outing at a very windy park, and realizing I did not have to worry about my roots being exposed!!! Sounds wierd, but boy did that feel great. I catch myself looking into mirrors and windows when I go by and thinking, omg I am white! It is an emotional phase of life when you no longer look as young as you once did, but you have to be determined and ready to embrace it and move forward. It’s a good thing 🙂

    15 . Mar . 2019 Reply
    • Katie

      Agreed!!

      17 . Mar . 2019 Reply
      • Toni Marie

        You are 100 % right I decided to let my hair grow out Nov 2018. I’ll ever forget looking in the mirror and seeing a washed out color that my hair turned and that was it….No more color ever. I greyed early also and I can’t tell you how much I love it. I think most women will know when it’s time to be natural again. I get more compliments and I myself feel better.

        28 . Jun . 2019 Reply
        • Katie

          That’s wonderful, Toni! Isn’t it nice to be done with all that?!

          28 . Jun . 2019 Reply
        • Karen

          Hair dye began to cause my scalp to itch and burn. Also, the cost was becoming ridiculous! So about 10 years ago at age 56 I welcomed the grey and silver in and never looked back. I love it! I get a lot of compliments on my silver hair and I correct them by saying, “Nope, it’s tinsel!”

          11 . Oct . 2019 Reply
  11. Jo

    Oh my gosh! So glad to read all the relatable stories here. My first foray into going grey ended after 2 months when my granddaughter put her tiny hands on my cheeks and with tears rolling from big brown eyes said “oh my mamas whatever I do now you’re dying so soon?” When I asked what she meant she sobbed out first you get old then you get white hair and then you die. She was inconsolable; she had lost 2 great grandparents just the month before. Honey I was at the salon next morning. (She is now 22)
    So several months ago I decided I was ready and now was a great time since youngsters are getting their hair done grey/ silver. But I didn’t do the cold turkey grow out, I’m too vain I think. My stylist and I came up with a plan and in 6 months it was time to cut it into a bob (my choice to get rid of last of old dyed hair). I love it and so does my family.

    19 . Feb . 2019 Reply
    • Katie

      Oh, that story about your granddaughter! What a sweetie, and ( completely understand why you ran to the salon.
      So glad you are happy with your silvers now!

      20 . Feb . 2019 Reply
  12. Penny McCracken

    I was with my 19 year old son who suffers from Asperger’s in his therapist’s office waiting and he very loudly asked me if I forgot to die. I was startled and said what? He said again, very loudly “Did you forget to die?” I asked him what he was talking about and he said “Your hair. Did you forget to dye your hair?” I could hear the therapist on the other side of the door trying not to laugh out loud. I told him no that I was growing it out. He said “Oh. You look like Cruella Deville.” I was about ready to ask him if he was ready to die but the therapist came in the room then and he was saved. Later we had a conversation and I explained what I was doing and why.

    08 . Feb . 2019 Reply
    • Katie

      Penny, you made me laugh! My son has Asperger’s too, and so I can totally relate to this 🙂. My son called me a “silver-haired nutcase” the other day, which was a good sign that he has finally accepted that I’m not going back to dyeing my hair.

      09 . Feb . 2019 Reply
  13. Peggy

    …I started getting gray in my late 30’s but I knew I was going to let it go….loved my grandfathers and my dads…..not only is my gray a conversation piece so is the length……..so I too am taking photos…..not only for the gray but for the length….it was very short and is now to my waist….and I have waves!!!……I just turned 64 and there seems to be a lot of discussion on being gray and long …… the front and sides are mostly white…..just wondering if others are letting theirs go long as well as white….

    07 . Feb . 2019 Reply
    • Katie

      Sounds beautiful, Peggy! I love long gray hair! Check out some of the Silver Hair Transition Stories here and you’ll see plenty of women with long hair. Sherry’s hair is especially long, thick & fabulous!

      07 . Feb . 2019 Reply
    • Penny McCracken

      Hey Peggy, I am in the process of growing out the dreaded pixie cut, but I do plan on growing out my hair and wearing it longer. I’m not sure how long I will let it grow but probably at least shoulder length which is longer than I have worn it since I was in my 30’s. It will depend on how healthy it looks at that length.

      09 . Feb . 2019 Reply
    • Donna

      I too have left my hair longer and let it go – with lots of waves and curls. White on top and sides, darker is only in back mostly, but when wet you can still see the darker strands. I just turned 62 and just found this blog today. Glad to find a ‘twin’ 🙂 I had dyed my hair auburn for years and just let it go.. my husband twisted my arm! Every time I get complimented – which is OFTEN – he says: your welcome LOL! I do find silver earrings look much nicer than my former gold though… I didn’t plan on it… but realized after I told him I’d stop… that I had last dyed my hair on our 33rd wedding anniversary – 3 1/2 years ago. So far, I’ve had 3 dreams I dyed it back and was soooo upset in the dream… after all the time growing it out… thankfully, I woke up 🙂

      10 . Nov . 2019 Reply
  14. Patricia Timbrook

    👵👵👵👵👵👵👵👵👵👵👵👵👵👵👵
    Thank you so much. I was drinking my morning coffee and read your delightful article. I was laughing my head off. Totally agreeing with everything you wrote.
    Yes, I made the switch to grow out my hair. I ‘m 63 years young and loving my sassy new silver, gray, white hair.

    06 . Feb . 2019 Reply
    • Katie

      Thanks, Patricia! 😂😂😂😂

      So glad you liked it! Your hair sounds fabulous, by the way.

      06 . Feb . 2019 Reply
  15. Deb

    I made the decision to stop coloring when my husband’s career provided an opportunity to relocate to a new area. The transition from dark brown to silver was aided by my colorist who did two different processes….first one to bleach out some of the color to look like highlights…then six weeks later to do a second process of coloring the highlights with silver toned color. I also did a pixie haircut so that the transition time would be on less hair and less damage. It’s taken 16 months to grow it out to a long bob and nearly all colored hair is gone. Hubby was exceptionally supportive throughout and loves my now mostly silver hair. I do get stopped by strangers and complimented frequently. The downside was the search for a new job in our new community where I felt that having gray hair has been a detriment…though I landed a great one; ageism is real in the job market. Personally I feel very comfortable in my choice; but it’s still a shocker to those who haven’t seen me for a while. I love that colored hair spray (by L’Oréal) allows me to go pink or blue or purple for the day (mermaid or unicorn looks are so easy with silver Hair) and then I can just wash it out and be back to my professional look. I truly wish I’d done the transition sooner!

    03 . Feb . 2019 Reply
    • Katie

      Deb, your hair sounds fabulous! I hate the ageism surrounding gray hair. If nobody dyed their hair, we’d see that people of all ages (from 13 to 115) can have gray hair. So frustrating. I hope that will change. So glad you had a great transition experience!

      03 . Feb . 2019 Reply
      • Bar

        Went gray the minute I retired from teaching. Did it with the help of my hair dresser doing a short cut with highlights. Followed by three more short cuts. Absolutely painless and looked great all the time. Would never go back to dyeing it. Wearing it long and it is soft with lots of body and curls. Would have done it sooner had I realized how great it would look. LOVE IT!

        21 . Nov . 2019 Reply
        • Katie

          It sounds gorgeous!

          22 . Nov . 2019 Reply
    • Debera Bragg

      Deb .. our stories are very similar. I moved to a new area, had lightening treatments to finish out my gray look and constantly get compliments when I’m out… Ladies will come up to me in the grocery and say I love your hair. It always takes me by surprise as I wore wigs for a while and my hair has always been a little difficult.. my husband tells me everyday how much he likes my gray hair… It makes aging a little easier 🙂

      05 . May . 2019 Reply
  16. mary

    great article.
    been dye free for 1.5 years now…love it.

    01 . Feb . 2019 Reply
  17. Lou

    I’m 38 and I just feel like I’ve had it with all the toxic chem. we are all so used to casually putting in or on our bodies. I’m trying to be more honest with myself and who I really am, and the things that really matter to me. I just said “why am I doing this to myself?” and decided to stop. I pretty much forgot about it and one day looked in the mirror and thought I was balding! lol I realized that it only appeared that way because of the staggering amount of gray roots! the right side of my head, at the temple is practically ALL gray. it’s going to look really cool once it’s all grown out. YAY GRAY!

    21 . Jan . 2019 Reply
    • Katie

      Yes, yay gray! I also thought I was balding – it happens to a lot of us, and it’s such a relief that it’s just gray hair! I agree with you re: the chemicals. I was so careful about eating well and trying to use nontoxic cleaning products, but I was dumping loads of harmful chemicals onto my scalp every month. What was I thinking?

      21 . Jan . 2019 Reply
  18. Stephanie

    Hi! About 9 months ago, I had my stylist heavily foil out my very dark brown hair. That made me blonde-ish. Since then, I have been letting my natural color grow out. Fortunately, I’m very gray and am so happy that I made this decision. The one thing I learned is that if you go blonde via chemicals, you must be diligent and use a purple shampoo. Otherwise, it will turn a very ugly, brassy yellow color. I still use the purple shampoo often to brighten up my gray hair. It’s nice to not spend a fortune at the salon now!

    10 . Jan . 2019 Reply
    • Katie

      Hi, Stephanie:

      Agreed! I love not spending the money OR time at the salon anymore! It was getting so expensive, and so frequent (for me). Now I treat myself occasionally to an eyebrow treatment at ULTA or a pedicure. So much cheaper and you feel great afterward!

      10 . Jan . 2019 Reply
    • Tina

      I have decided to let me hair “go home” and I love it!! Mine is coming in along the fronts and sides a beautiful silver colour. I moved to Victoria, BC 2 years ago and was so jealous of all the beautiful white, silver and grey haired women here. Beautiful and natural!!!

      12 . Mar . 2019 Reply
  19. Hannah Suckle

    I’m 5 months in. I’m not a selfie taker so I’m probably not going to be documenting it that way. I’ve been planning to do stop dyeing for years but a missed 8 week root appointment that fell into 10 weeks just cemented it. My colorist (who is wonderful) was not pleased but has been supportive.

    I’ve only had one question, from my great nephew, who wanted to know why I had so many different colors of hair (my dyed brown has purple ends) and I said “because I like it”. I think he was prompted by his grandfather (my brother) who is too much of a chicken to ask himself.

    10 . Jan . 2019 Reply
    • Namcy

      5 months into gray transition. My friends 8 yr old asked why I color my hair gray? I replied because I like it and she seemed ok with the response lol. So far I have silver highlights coming in throughout the back and two patches running down the front sise of my face. Coworkers are complimenting my new look. I am still contemplating how long or if I will continue with this new look. Also cut my hair to a shoulder length & debating if I should go shorter.

      12 . May . 2019 Reply
  20. Brigitte

    I stopped dying/cutting my my hair two years ago. I love the way my brown/gray hair looks. I’m now ready to cut off three inches of the old dyed hair. I feel more beautiful and confident now than with the dyed hair.

    08 . Jan . 2019 Reply
    • Katie

      That’s wonderful, Brigitte! I’m sure it will feel great to get rid of that old dye!

      08 . Jan . 2019 Reply
  21. Catherine

    Have really enjoyed your blog and the transition stories! My last dye was 7 months ago and it feels like it’s going sooooo slow! I so relate to this post. I’ve become obsessed with my hair where I used to dry in the morning and forget about until bedtime. I bought a hand mirror JUST so I can check out the back of my head! And I’m constantly checking out the undergrowth. Thanks for keeping me motivated!

    03 . Jan . 2019 Reply
    • Katie

      Hi, Catherine – you sound just like me! I think I’m going to have to rush out and buy a hand mirror as I need to see the back of my head more now! I’m so glad you love the blog and that it keeps you motivated!

      03 . Jan . 2019 Reply
  22. Lupe

    Only starting, October 27, 2018 was the last time I colored my hair. Your article is wonderful, it’s made me more exciting. I want to see what it looks like on the first day of Spring March 20, 2019. I want to embrace my journey as I turn 66 in January.

    29 . Dec . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      Thanks, Lupe! I’m so glad you enjoyed the article. Good luck with your transition!

      31 . Dec . 2018 Reply
  23. Jennifer

    This article is spot on. I’m 47 and decided this past April to stop coloring my hair. I had been highlighting and coloring my hair since I was 13 years old – 34 years! In the past couple of months I’ve really been getting a lot of compliments on my hair. Most people think I paid for these natural highlights. Only now has my husband starting commenting on how much he loves my hair color, and with no prompting from me! I love the way it looks too. I’m rocking my silver highlights and it makes me feel like a rebel not coloring my hair anymore.

    25 . Dec . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      So glad it’s going so well for you! I feel the same way – it’s nice to go back to feeling like a rebel! I missed that feeling. 🙂

      26 . Dec . 2018 Reply
  24. Debbie

    I’m 63 and started the selfies to record the transition to gray and I found it embarrassing too that I had so many (10 months worth). Most people have been very complimentary of my new color. I transitioned from brunette to gray with blonde highlights, which made it so much easier. People really do say stupid things to you about the new you. My friend told me that my gray wasn’t ugly. I think it was supposed to be a compliment. I really like my hair without the dye. I have about an inch to go and can’t wait for it to be gone forever. Best hair decision I ever made.

    25 . Dec . 2018 Reply
  25. Kathy.

    Love what you say in your article. So very true. My experience exactly. I am 59 and have been embracing my grey for 18 months. It is still a work in progress and I am fascinated watching the colour progress.

    23 . Dec . 2018 Reply
  26. Caryn

    My roots always grew out really quickly, within 2 weeks. I hated going for touch-ups so I usually wouldn’t go to the salon until it was very grown-out. Then my mom took ill, and eventually passed away. I was in FL for 3 weeks, and when I came home I felt raw and changed … more myself. My mom’s hair was a beautiful shade of silver. I’d long thought about letting myself go gray “someday”, and at this point thought, “what am I waiting for? If not now, when? I’m already 54.” So I kept going. I heard all the comments you’re describing, and still hear them. But once I’d made the decision, I already felt I was gray in my mind’s eye. The rest was a foregone conclusion.

    13 . Dec . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      I’m so sorry for the loss of your Mom. It’s a nice tribute to her that you admired her hair color and let yours go gray as well!

      13 . Dec . 2018 Reply
  27. Babs

    I was never complimented on my hair by strangers until I went gray. There is a lot of various shades and even my brother-in-law was surprised it was natural.

    04 . Dec . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      That’s great! it’s always astounding when we realize the true beauty of gray hair. It’s really unique.

      05 . Dec . 2018 Reply
  28. Liz

    I ditched the dye over 5 years ago and my hair is barely 10% gray and I’m 61! I’m waiting for my beautiful silver locks, but I just look like a hag.

    19 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  29. Emma

    I’ve just come across your Instagram and headed over here. I’m 38 with a 3 week old baby and another two under 5…I’m seriously considering going grey. I’ve not dyed my hair throughout pregnancy because of an increased sensitivity so I have a good ‘rootage’. I’m blonde so I’m riding the silver blonde craze at the moment using toning purple shampoo…the big question is do I continue? Still undecided.

    13 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      Hi, Emma – Congratulations on your new baby! It seems (from what I’ve seen) that gray is easier to grow out from blonde or light red hair because there’s not the stark contrast that you get with brunette hair. Whatever you decide will be the right decision for you! But it might be fun to try it for a while and see how it goes. Some women use Color Wow Root Powder (or other products) to get through the first months of the transition. Good luck!

      13 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  30. Amanda

    This was 150% spot on for me and had me giggling and nodding my head throughout! The selfies? Omg yes! The comments people make, definitely! And even my kids….they haven’t mentioned mortality but my kids only know me with dark brown/black hair and it is hard for them to think of mommy any different.

    Love your blog!

    11 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      I’m so glad you could relate! 🙂 Thanks for the kind words!

      11 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  31. Deb Commesso

    My daughter, also Autistic, had identical fears! It took plenty of reassurance but now SHE is the one delighted by all the sparkly white when the sunlight hits it! Thanks for an entertaining and encouraging read! Xoxoxo

    11 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      I’m so glad that she is delighted – it really IS pretty!

      11 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  32. Sandrine (Grey_so_what)

    I laughed a lot when I read you… So true !!! All the sections !!!

    11 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      So glad you enjoyed it, Sandrine!

      11 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  33. Lito

    I actually forget about my gray until someone mentions it. Then it’s a discussion. I think it’s fascinating, watching the transition from black to black and white hair. I’ve been called Cruella, jokingly. My sister told me to pull my hair up and I’d be the Bride of Frankenstein for Halloween. All in fun though, not minding the laughs. Enjoying this journey.

    10 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      It’s always good to have a sense of humor, for sure! I think a lot of us dark brunettes can relate to Cruella DeVille’s hair at times 😜

      10 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  34. Terry Son

    It was a fun read, Katie! Both informative and light at the same time!

    10 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      Thanks, Terry!

      10 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  35. Joyce Eveler

    Great read! I’ve always been told I look to young to be a grandma, and look like a sister to my daughters. Both daughters are hair stylists, and initially one was supportive (she’s the one that does my hair and really knows how much grey/white I have) but the other was very opposed. But I think she was more opposed to me aging than anything. It’s more fun to have a mom that’s looks like a sister than a mom that’s really 55 and is exhausted after a full day with the grand babies 👶🏻 LOL. She’s supporting me now, but still doesn’t understand why I would want to look “old”. Age and wisdom will catch up with her 🤓

    10 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      Hi, Joyce: I agree – she’ll realize the wisdom in accepting your grays at some point! I think you’re setting a great example for your daughters. How fun to have grandbabies – I hope I get some, too, someday!

      10 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  36. Jill

    Nice article! I am still not confident with growing out my hair but I’m doing it. For job interviews it is not the best, so I may have to color my hair again. There is ageism in the workforce. I was never good at coloring my hair on a regular basis so most of the time I had gray roots showing so I figured I would just stop dyeing it all together. A lot of friends think that I am trying to save money but that is not the reason I am doing it.

    10 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      Hi, Jill – Have you looked into root powder to temporarily cover your grays? You can find a link to it on my gray hair products page and also in Louise Pendry’s transition story article. A lot of women use that to get through job interviews. It’s frustrating when people don’t understand our real motivations for going gray, but just stick to your guns and do what’s best for you!

      10 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  37. Emma

    Great article!! Really made me smile and reminded me how fun this all is. I’m often having to hide my camera roll because it’s so full of hair shots!! Haha. What’s most weird for me is my new found self belief. I feel my most secure and attractive ever since I stopped dying. It’s really counter intuitive but a fantastic bonus. 😀. Thanks for keeping writing and posting Katie. You’re fab!!! ❤️❤️❤️

    09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      Thanks, Emma! So glad you enjoyed it. I’m continually amazed by how many of us have the same experience – increased self-confidence and security after choosing to ditch the dye. I never would have guessed that in a million years!

      10 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  38. Donna

    This was a hoot! I relate!

    09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      I’m so glad! 😘😘

      09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  39. Mary

    I recently ,told my daughter I needed a t-shirt that says, My eyes are somewhere between the top of my head and my chest😉

    09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      I think all women should get that shirt 😬😜😜

      09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  40. Joanne L Cook

    Loved the read, although one thing zi do not take selfies. I’m not at the point where I rhink I look good. Hopefully someday

    09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      You’ll have fun when you get to that point. It takes a while 😘😘

      09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  41. Claire

    Brilliant article that confirms I am not weird at all. It’s people like you, Katie, who have made my own journey easier. And suddenly I am more confident than I ever have been. If you had told my old brunette self that going grey would empower her she would have died laughing.

    @skylark_tanka

    09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      Hi, Claire! I agree – I feel more confident in the past 8 months than I have in a while. Such a surprise that gray hair is the cause!

      09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  42. amy nolan

    This was so much fun to read and fascinating!

    09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      So glad you enjoyed it!

      09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  43. Jae

    For the record, a lot of those new male followers we’ve all suddenly gotten since waving our gray flag are bots. Not real men! But! The real men in my life have been extremely supportive and encouraging which is better than followers any day! 😊

    09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      I know there are a lot of bots, but I’ve been getting a ton of messages from real men, too. Which i’d definitely rather NOT receive! But yet, the real men have been so supportive! Which is a nice side effect 🙂

      09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  44. Meena Mahesh

    Spot on …u have just said it as it is…💕

    09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      Thanks, Meena!

      09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Catana

      I am only now getting first grays in front at 61. I have less than 1%. However despite the fact that I hated my natural mousy colour and coloured my hair blonde for most of my life I do not like the look of these first grays as I feel they make my already very fine hair look even finer. So the texture is not a good look and makes me feel old although my skin is unlined.
      I am just going to put a very mild blonde colour over the front as I can no longer use chemical dyes due to skin allergy over the rest of the hair and have had to go darker from mid blonde to mouse towards tbe back as Now have no choice sadly.
      I have not had any of the fun going gray of my friend who is entirely silver and looks platinum blonde now with amazing texture
      So going gray is not at all glamorous for me! Only advantage is I need much less bleach to lift slightly gray roots and it blends in better with my natural darker hair. Lucky You all the ladies who find gray really works for them.

      02 . May . 2019 Reply
  45. Portia

    Brilliant Katie! I too have a son with high functioning (mild) Aspergers and have had the mortality discussion. The time it’s going to take to transition will be adjustment for not only me but my children too. Great posts , love reading them!

    09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      Thank you, Portia! I’ve heard this from other mothers of special-needs kids, too. Adapting to change is often hard for them, so it’s so good to have these discussions. xoxoxo

      09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  46. Jonie

    This is spot on hysterical!! Every word I feel! Thanks for actually writing it down! Now I feel a bit more normal, Katie xxooo

    09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      Thanks, Jonie! 🙂

      09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  47. Jane Patsakos

    I just love this article! I could read it over and over! I haven’t taken the leap yet, so this was all news to me! Fascinating!!

    09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      So glad you enjoyed it!

      09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  48. Eva

    Katie!!! This is an awesome post!! Yes!!! I’ve experienced all of this. Thanks for putting it down so clearly. I’m cracking up at the selfie thing. LOL! I was starting to feel a little bad about it. hahaha! It’s like I must take a pic in different lights just to see the colors.

    09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      I do the same thing, Eva! And then I have to get it from all angles! 🤣

      09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  49. Lisa

    Ha! Love this…all TRUE!

    09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      Thanks, Lisa!

      09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  50. Lori Dawnolyn

    You hit the nail on the head, Katie!! An excellent read.

    09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  51. Lori Dawnolyn

    You hit the nail on the head, Katie!! An excellent read.

    09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      Thanks, Lori! ❤️

      09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
  52. Claire

    Yes! Men talking to the top of your head?! A welcome change from looking at the chest. You want to say “er yeah, hi? My eyes are further down…but first off – would you like to chat about my hair?”

    09 . Nov . 2018 Reply
    • Katie

      Right! 🤣

      09 . Nov . 2018 Reply

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Katie

Katie is the founder of Katie Goes Platinum. After constantly dyeing her hair for over 25 years, in 2018 Katie decided to stop the madness and embrace the gray. Since then, she’s been sharing her favorite gray hair tips, resources, and stories to empower women to feel beautiful during and after their transition to gray hair.