How to Piss Off a Gray-Haired Woman in 5 Seconds or Less
I’m a pretty easy-going person, but if someone is rude enough to make a disparaging remark about my gray hair, I can go from zero to pissed off in 5 seconds! If you WANT to piss off a gray-haired woman, here’s a primer to get you started.
Do you want to anger your gray-haired female friends, family members, and colleagues?
Here are some handy phrases to toss around to get the annoyed reaction you desire.
Just as you should never ask a woman “When is the baby due?” unless you see a baby actually emerging from her nether regions, please don’t assume everyone with gray hair is a grandparent.
People in their early teens can have gray hair, for gosh sakes! And mothers of young children can have gray hair as well (surprise!)
So, unless you see a cute baby holding on to her hand, and the baby has a shirt on it that says “I love Grandma” and the gray-haired lady has a shirt on that says “I love my Grandbaby,” it’s probably best NOT to assume!
“What Does Your Husband Think?”
What is this, the 1950s?
Of course, it depends on how it is asked. If it’s a chirpy, “Ooh, I love it – what does your husband think?!” – that will most likely not offend.
But when you grab her hand, with a concerned look on your face, and then whisper “What does your husband think?” it’s likely to evoke a pissed-off reaction.
And if the woman you are saying this to is Irish, start running! (Speaking as a hot-tempered Irish-American).
“You’re going to look old!”
Are you prepared to be hated for life? Why would you say such a thing?
And why are you such a sexist? It’s OK for men to have gray hair – they are considered “distinguished,” so why not women?
Also, why are you so ageist? You have some issues; get thee to therapy!
If you think women with gray hair look older than with dyed hair, check out this post: Gray Hair: Before and After and then get back to me with a sincere apology.
A handwritten apology to Mother Nature would also be in order. If you are so inclined, you might as well apologize to God as well, for thinking that you know more than Him.
“Do you need money?”
If you say this while pushing crumpled bills into the hands of a woman who is going gray cold-turkey, prepare to be eternally despised!
(And yes, this happened to one of my friends – you can’t make this shit up!)
Why assume that a woman letting her roots show is in desperate need of cash? Maybe she wants to reclaim her health, her time and her natural beauty.
Also, it takes balls to go gray publicly, so instead of insulting your friend with gray hair, how about complimenting her on how freaking self-confident she is?
“Men Won’t Find You Attractive!”
What kind of men are we talking about? If we are talking about shallow, dimwitted men – good riddance!
The majority of silver sisters I know have reported that most men seem genuinely complimentary of their gray hair. They see it as a sign of authenticity, and they appreciate its beauty.
And, if this post wasn’t the kick in the butt that you needed to jump-start your good manners, might I suggest this book? Because pal, you need it!
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