Gray Hair Regrets: 5 Mistakes I Made (So You Don’t Have To!)
Inside: Do I have regrets about my gray hair transition? Not many, but here are a few that I hope will help you with YOUR transition!
Seven years ago, I made a bold decision—I ditched the dye and embraced my natural gray hair.
I went completely cold turkey from dark brunette dye, letting my silver roots grow in without any salon treatments or shortcuts. It took two and a half years, and honestly? I loved every minute of it.
But now that I know what I know about going gray, do I have regrets?
Oh, absolutely.
If you’re thinking about going gray cold turkey, keep reading—I’m sharing five things I wish I had done differently so you can avoid the mistakes I made!
Please note that this article may contain affiliate links. You can read my full disclosure at the bottom of the page.
Why I Chose the Cold Turkey Method
For some women, going gray cold turkey sounds like a nightmare. But for me, it was the best choice because:
✔️ My hair was severely damaged from years of dyeing, and I knew it couldn’t handle the bleaching required for a salon transition.
✔️ I didn’t want to cut my hair short. Many women do a big chop to go gray, but I knew I’d be traumatized going from long brunette hair to short gray hair overnight. I needed time to mentally adjust to my new look.
My Gray Hair Regrets and What I Wish I’d Done
Going cold turkey gave me that time. But I made some mistakes along the way—here’s what I would do differently:
1. Trying to Fade My Dye (Big Mistake!)
I thought I was being clever. Instead of letting my dark brunette dye contrast starkly with my silver roots (the “grombre” look), I tried to fade the dye using a harsh clarifying shampoo.
🛑 The result? An unmitigated disaster.
Instead of a cool silver-and-brunette contrast, my hair turned brassy, orange, and patchy.
The longer my transition took, the worse it got—towards the end, my ends were Bozo-the-Clown orange (no joke).
What I Should Have Done Instead
Leave the dyed ends alone!
Silver roots against dark hair can look chic and purposeful —silver roots against orange? Not so much.
2. Not Being Creative with My Fading Ends
Once my ends turned orange, I felt stuck. I didn’t want to cut them off, but I didn’t know what else to do.
I tried correcting the brassiness by using blue shampoo. And that worked, for a while.
But eventually my fading brunette ends turned SO orange that even blue shampoo couldn’t help. I ended up just living with them.
My brassy ends didn’t bother me too much, but looking back I DID have other options.
What I Should Have Done Instead
💡 Some creative women use temporary dyes in fun colors like hot pink, teal, or magenta to make their fading ends look fun and intentional.
If you want to try fun colors, use temporary options like Manic Panic or Arctic Fox. They wash out, so they shouldn’t delay your gray transition! (But do a test strip just in case)
💡 Others (like my friend Jonie) ask their stylists to apply their usual brunette dye—but only on the ends, avoiding their silver roots. If you’re not allergic to hair dye, this could be a great option!
3. Obsessing Over Products Too Soon
The moment I decided to go gray, I became obsessed with researching hair products. I scoured Facebook, Google, and online forums for the “perfect” gray hair routine and the best products.
The Reality? You Don’t Need Special Products Right Away.
For most of your transition, you can keep using the same products you already love, although it’s best if they are free of sulfates, silicones, and parabens.
The only two specialty products you might need are:
✔️ Blue shampoo – Helps neutralize brassy, orange tones in fading brunette dye, and brightens your silver roots.
✔️ Purple shampoo – Only if your new gray growth starts looking yellow (use sparingly—once a week max).
Everything else? Not necessary until you’re fully gray (and maybe not at all, if you choose products with the right ingredients).
Related Posts:
Why Blue Shampoo is Fantastic for Brassy Brunettes
The Ultimate Guide to Purple Shampoo
My Current Gray Hair Routine
4. Not Taking Better Transition Photos
As a photographer, I knew I wanted to document my gray hair journey. And I did—I took way too many photos (like… bajillions).
But my photos weren’t as good as they could have been because:
❌ I used an unflattering brick wall background at work.
❌ I rushed my selfies, so I often had an awkward, worried expression (I didn’t want coworkers to see me and think I was NUTS).
What I Should Have Done Instead
📸 Take monthly photos in the same well-lit location.
📸 Use a neutral background (not a red brick wall!).
📸 Use natural light or a ring light
Looking back, I wish I had better, more thoughtful transition photos—they’re fun to look at and can inspire others on the same journey!
5. Not Protecting My Newly Silver Hair Enough
I had no idea how delicate gray hair is—especially fine gray hair like mine.
Gray hair is prone to yellowing from:
☀️ Sun exposure
🔥 Heat styling
🏠 Pollution and product buildup
I didn’t take yellowing seriously enough at first, and my hair suffered for it.
What I Should Have Done Instead
✔️ Always wear a hat or use a UV protectant spray when outside.
✔️ Minimize heat styling – Now, I air dry my hair and rarely use hot tools. If you must use heat, use a great heat protectant.
✔️ Avoid pollution buildup – Use a gentle clarifying shampoo once a week to keep your silver hair bright.
Related: Everything You Need to Know About Yellowing Gray Hair
Would I Do Things Differently If I Could?
Of course! Who wouldn’t? But at the end of the day, my gray hair journey was totally worth it.
💖 I love my silver hair. It’s healthier, shinier, and softer than it’s been since childhood.
💖 No more expensive salon visits—no more burning, itching, and waiting hours for hair dye to process.
💖 No more hiding my roots with powders, shine sprays, or anti-frizz products just to get through another few weeks before another dye session.
Would I go back to dyeing my hair? Never!
VIDEO:
What About You?
If you’ve gone gray cold turkey (or any other method), do you have regrets? Anything you’d do differently?
Let me know in the comments—I’d love to hear your story! 💬👇
💖 Embrace the silver—you’re gorgeous!
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I’m 66 and found my first gray hair at 18. I fought the urge to dye my hair until my thirties using various ways to cover the gray/white. I’ve been thinking about going gray for a while but my last hair appointment the stylist I have been going to for over 3 decided that I must need to go a bit darker “Why” I had started getting lighter so that it might make the process a little easier. I said I didn’t want it to be that dark and she said this is what was in the computer (???). I would like to go cold turkey so any helpful hints will so helpful.
It’s in the computer (?) – what an odd thing for her to say! Re: going gray cold turkey, these articles should help: How to Go Gray From Dyed Hair, and My Two-Year Cold Turkey Transition.
My regret was not doing it sooner. I’m 10 years into my transition and too went cold turkey. Didn’t want to cut my hair because it would have been too drastic for me having short white hair. What I did was get trims regularly so if I had an inch of growth I would have an inch cut off the length. At the beginning I used a topper and dark brown root spray but after 3 to 4 months I stopped doing that and let the white/silver shine through. Took about a year or so and then when I had just a little old dye at the bottom I cut it off. I was ready. I would never want to color my hair again.
I love the way you did – sounds like a great routine to get to your final goal of fully gray hair. I never want to color my hair again either.
Your hair is fabulous, I like the curls in the last photo.
Thank you! I used the Octocurl to get those curls. Love it!
My biggest regret was getting colored glosses on my hair – they are supposed to wash out (or so I was told) . The last one I got lightened my hair to blondish and never washed out – YIKES! It set my whole process WAY back to square one – made me very sad. If you want to put gloss on your hair, I strongly suggest you make sure it is CLEAR gloss – no color.
I’m sorry that happened to you, Nora! I actually didn’t know they made colored glosses – the only ones I’ve seen are clear. That’s good to know.
I do love my hair now that I’m fully transitioned to white/gray hair. I found my first white hair when I was 18 and immediately pulled it out. I was coloring my hair since then and over the years it just kept getting more difficult to do. In addition, towards the end, the fumes from the hair dye really started to bother me and my scalp would burn. So I decided to go “cold turkey” and just grow it out. But at 58 years old and still single I am very self-conscious thinking I look older than I am, plus my sibling is not very kind with his remarks. However, I have to say that I have received compliments from strangers and that makes me feel better.
Hi Jackie! Sorry you’ve have to deal with unkind remarks from your sibling. Why do people do that? But glad you are getting compliments from strangers (that’s always nice)!