Aging Authentically: How to Embrace Beauty, Identity & Change at Any Age
Have you ever been told you’re “too old” to wear something you love? Or “too young” to let your hair go gray? Or anything else to that effect?
If so, you’re not alone.
In our latest episode of The Silver Thread podcast, Joli and I had an open, honest conversation about what it means to age authentically, and why it’s one of the most freeing (and sometimes confusing) parts of getting older.
Here’s a look at some of the most important takeaways from our chat, plus a few personal stories I haven’t shared before.
🎧 Want to listen instead? You can watch or listen to the full episode on YouTube:
What Is Authentic Aging, Anyway?
For Joli and me, authentic aging isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach.
It’s not about ditching makeup and/or embracing gray hair unless that’s what makes you feel like YOU.
Authenticity looks different for everyone, and that’s exactly the point.
For me, authenticity is naturally silver hair and a bold lip. It’s spending some days dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, and other days glamming it up. It’s saying yes to things I want to do, and no to things I’d rather not.
Basically, it’s doing what feels right for me at the moment, without letting someone else’s expectations dictate how I show up in the world.
That freedom to define yourself, even as you change, is what makes aging authentically so powerful.
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The Pressure to Look a Certain Way Never Really Stops
One of the hardest parts about aging as a woman isn’t getting older; it’s dealing with the constant pressure to look younger while at the same time “acting your age.”
At age 58, I still get comments like:
- “You’d look younger if you dyed your hair.”
- “You’re too old for glittery eyeshadow.”
- “You’re too young to go gray!”
- “Fairy lights in your living room? That’s for children!”
And I’m not alone. Joli’s been hearing versions of these same types of comments since she was a child as well.
When we were younger, there was no social media, but there were still plenty of messages telling us how we “should” look and act.
Now, those messages are everywhere. And they’re relentless.
It’s no wonder so many women feel confused about what’s “right” when it comes to aging.
Ageism Comes for Everyone
We often think of ageism as something that only affects older people. But Joli made a good point in our conversation: ageism is an “equal opportunity” problem.
Whether you’re in your teens, 30s, 50s, or 70s, there’s always someone ready to tell you you’re “too much,” “not enough,” “too young,” or “too old.”
It’s exhausting and honestly, kind of ridiculous.
The Beauty of Reinvention
One thing we kept circling back to is how common it is to feel a little lost at certain stages of life.
For me, that came after my kids started growing up. Suddenly, I had time and space again — but I didn’t quite know who I was anymore.
I found myself wondering:
- What’s my style now?
- Who do I want to be at this stage in life?
- What kind of old lady do I eventually want to become?
Spoiler alert: I haven’t yet decided what kind of old lady I will eventually become, but she will probably wear marabou on occasion, while also owning donkeys that she bedecks with flower necklaces. This is my retirement plan, and I’m sticking with it!
Joli shared how going gray led her to realize her whole house was beige — and not in a soothing, minimalist way, but in a “why did I make everything so boring?” kind of way. It sparked a full reawakening of her style, her space, and her identity.
Reinvention isn’t about “fixing” yourself. It’s about getting closer to who you really are.
Your Choices Are Yours Alone
One thing we were both really clear on: what works for one woman might not work for another, and that’s okay.
Some women feel empowered by fillers or eye lifts or dyeing their hair. Others feel best going fully natural. Some prefer a mix of both.
None of these paths is “more authentic.”
The key is making the choice for yourself, not because someone on Instagram said you should, or because a family member made a comment, or because you feel like you’re “supposed to.”
When we base our decisions on what we want instead of what others expect, that’s when we become truly free.
And THAT is what aging authentically is all about.
Final Thoughts: You Get to Choose What Aging Looks Like
Here’s the thing we both kept coming back to:
Aging is a privilege. And we don’t have to waste that privilege trying to conform to outdated ideas of what beauty, femininity, or confidence should look like.
You can be bold or soft, bare-faced or glittery, in jeans or pearls, or all of the above, depending on the day and your mood.
Whatever makes you feel most like you? That’s your path.
I’d love to know: What does “aging authentically” mean to you? Let me know in the comments below.
And if you haven’t listened to our full conversation yet, I hope you’ll check it out. I think it’s one of the most meaningful ones we’ve had so far.
🎧 Click here to watch or listen to the episode.
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